Important Calculations

My first class on Sundays for the Fall semester is at 11:30am.

That means I will be taking the 9:30am bus from Mohandiseen.

In order to be ready, I will have to wake up at approximately 8:30.

A significant portion of scheduled Alabama football games begin at 6:30pm Central Time.

Take into account the time difference, Ramadan time changes, and the obligatory postgame Skype calls, tears, and beverages, I will be lucky to be in bed by 6:30am Sunday mornings.

Which basically means...I'm screwed.

So, Tide players, I expect the same level of committment from you this season. I want another National Championship this year. ROLL TIDE!

43 days until I am sleep deprived once again.....

I say this with love, I swear.

To all of my 20-something friends who just can't seem to stop getting married/impregnated:

Guys, I love you, and I suppose I'm happy for you, and I will pretend that the rock on your finger/parasite growing in your uterus is the best thing ever, but to be honest...

....you're all really creeping me out.

Love,
Danielle

Neofeminism, in regard to relationships

DISCLAIMER: This really has nothing to do with Egypt. I know this is supposed to be a travel blog, but it's become much for than that since I started it in the summer of 2008. If you don't give a damn about my relationships, or my beliefs, or anything other than interesting facts about the pyramids and the state of affairs in the Middle East, feel free so skip this post.

In case you don't know me, or haven't talked to me for more than ten minutes, I'm something of a feminist. Not so much an "I hate men, don't shave my legs, think Hooters is degrading, and never want to get married" feminist...rather than pointing out negative aspects, I would rather take a more ambitious approach. Girls rule [I'm a child of the Spice Girls generation]! Men and women are equal, and I will fight for women's rights to prove it. If women can use their bodies to exploit men's weaknesses, whether in Playboy, or James Bond, or Hooters, and they feel okay about that, more power to them! But all of that has nothing to do with the thought that occurred to me on the bus tonight.

In light of a recent failed romantic endeavor, which I spent nearly six months laying groundwork for, constantly flirting, hinting, and overall enjoying the slow, torturous chase, I came to a conclusion: As much as I enjoy pursuing men, as much fun as it is, no relationship which began with me initiating the chase has ever gone much of anywhere, been healthy or fulfilling. The problem therein is that I've always felt as if me choosing a man I know I must chase will prevent me from becoming some sort of a prize; if a man chases a woman, once he succeeds, hasn't she merely become something that he has won, thanks to his persistence and charm? Watching entirely too much Aladdin as a child [which probably contributed to my love of the Arab world, distorted as the facts in that movie are] taught me that I as a woman am "not a prize to be won". So, what goes wrong when I engage in the chase? What makes things go awry? The answer is simple..much the same as a woman who has been pursued feels when she finally acquieses to the persistent male, a man who has been pursued feels as if he has done you a favor in giving you a chance, and when things do not work out, the pursuer often bears the blame.

I am not referring to any one incident, but rather my collective romantic experience. But which is preferable? Feeling as if you are a trophy, or being treated by a man as if he had done you a favor? I'm not entirely sure. But if you look at my personal history, all my great loves have been men that pursued me, and all of my biggest failures have resulted from me taking on the traditional role of a man- pursuing, initiating the chase. As much as I hate to admit it, maybe some of my forward-thinking ideas about women being able to assume men's roles do not, can not, apply to every aspect of life. I am not entirely comfortable with this idea. In fact, it is making my head spin. Perhaps it's just me. At any rate, we'll return to this subject when I've thought more on it.

To Kill 2 Birds with One Bottle of Vodka..

Sometimes you just have to laugh about it...because my life is so absolutely ridiculous.

There's nothing to do but laugh. Sometimes it's only to keep from crying, but after that, it's because I realize that my "problems" are silly, and I should really have my own reality show.

My heart is broken, but I'm pretty sure it'll get better.

But for now, I will lick my wounds and wait out this hangover.

Chins up, little ones!

An pseudo-intellectual off-color joke about colonialism and the Holocaust

Two Jews are sitting together reading their newspapers in 1940s Germany. One looks to the other, and says, "You know, I'm getting really fed up with our leader."

The other looks back, horrified, and says, "You can't talk about Hitler that way, or we'll both end up in a concentration camp!"

The first, confused, replies, "Hitler? Who's talking about Hitler? I'm talking about Moses! If it weren't for him leading us out of Egypt, we'd all have British passports!"

ROLL TIDE ROLL

Alabama Football...it's 6 All Americans, 22 SEC Championships, a Heisman winner, and 13 National Championships. Roll Tide Roll!

This week, my best friend from high school, Megan, came to Alabama to visit during the National Championship. We went down to Tuscaloosa the day before the game and settled in for the game at Kenny and Murphy's apartment. After a warmup on Wednesday night with Phi Sig and some Sweet Carolina with Kenny, we woke up Thursday afternoon and immediately started pregaming. By gametime, everyone was pumped and pleasantly buzzed. After a rough start, the game took a pleasant turn and the first half ended 24-6. There was a turbulent patch of nausea when Texas staged a fourth quarter comeback, but in the end, the Tide triumphed 37-21.

Chaos broke out in Tuscaloosa. Megan and Kenny, after taking tequila shots after every Bama touchdown, looked on in amazement as fireworks were shot off in the parking lot by raucous fans. Opposite sides of the apartment complex shouted Bama chants back and forth to each other as a gigantic and very illegal fireworks display exploded in the midst of crappy college cars, until a Tuscaloosa PD car turned into the lot. Everyone slowly lowered their drinks and looked on to see if the cop would shut down our city-wide party. Instead, the cop watched the rest of the fireworks display to make sure nothing bad happened, then turned on his loudspeaker, shouted "Roll Tide!" and drove away.
Suddenly someone shouted "Veazey!" and my heart nearly lept out of my chest as I saw the last member of the Cult bound up the stairs and into my arms. Holding a bottle of champagne and a cigarette in one hand, a Natty in a GO TO HELL AUBURN coozie in the other, surrounded by Megan and the Cult, and singing Yea Alabama at the top of my lungs into the frigid night, I realized that this was one of the best moments of my life.

Veazey, Kenny, Megan and I retreated into the apartment to warm up. Soon thereafter, Murphy bounded into the room carrying a giant "yellow hammer" and demanded we follow him to the Strip. "They've shut down the Strip!" He yelled, "There's a mob!"

We sprinted toward the Strip in varied, glorious stages of inebriation, only to find a giant mosh pit of zealous Alabama fans jumping and singing in the middle of the street, chanting "13!", "RTR", "It's great to be from Alabama" and singing Yea Alabama, Sweet Home Alabama, and Rammer Jammer.

Then, we made our way over to the Walk of Champions outside Bryant-Denny stadium. There reside the famous Alabama coaches who have led us to past National Championships. There is an empty spot where Nick Saban will one day reside. In reverent solitude, we erected a sign which sad "Reserved for Nick Saban" and watched as grateful Alabama fans streamed in to place a symbolic rose in the hands of the legendary Bear Bryant's statue.

Walking around campus, shouting Roll Tide to everyone who passed and hearing it shouted right back, you could feel the pride. The tradition. The dynasty. The legend. I'm sure somewhere, the Bear was smiling. And I was in Tuscaloosa, crying from happiness, and a little from nostalgia, of heartache, knowing I'm not a part of it anymore. What a beautiful, beautiful night, what a perfect feeling. God bless Alabama. God bless the Tide.

"I ain't never been nothin' but a winner." -Paul "Bear" Bryant

Now I can cross one more thing off of my Life List. Watch Alabama win a National Championship? Done, son! 13! RTR!

ps..I didn't win that travel writing scholarship, but I read the winner's essay, and she deserved to win. It was very impressive. I'm honored to have been selected for the short list and I'm excited for my writing career. And besides, what could take away from the amazing game last night?

OH ITS GREAT TO BE FROM ALABAMA

CONGRATULATIONS MARK INGRAM ON WINNING THE HEISMAN TROPHY!

FIRST HEISMAN WINNER IN BAMA HISTORY!

ROLL TIDE FROM EGYPT!!!

SEC Championship

BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!BAMA WINS!!!

32-13....Cry Tebow Cry!

National Championship here we come!!!

Roll Tide

So, this isn't technically about Egypt, but just go with me here.

For two years, I was privileged to go to the University of Alabama. I have always loved football, but didn't know much about any one team besides Georgia when I decided to attend UA, in the hopes of cheering there. Immediately I was immersed into the tradition and prestige of a southern football powerhouse with a dynastic history of domination and success. Everything about Alabama football enthralls me, but I've made a list of the things that I truly miss about it.

Seeing thousands of girls wearing houndstooth dresses.
"Phi Mu Loves the Tide" pins
Yelling "Roll Tide" with 90,000+ every time the Tide gets a first down.
Some girls [not me, of course ;)] duct-taping flasks to their inner thighs to smuggle them through the gates; watching them waddle to the bathroom where they promptly retrieve them and pour them into a plastic commemorative cup.
Watching frat pledges frantically collecting used cups for their bitchwork.
The Million Dollar Band at halftime.
Nearly getting into a fist fight with Utah fans on the walk...errr stumble to the Super Dome last year.
Pre-gaming in the shadow of Denny Chimes.
Lunch at Phi Mu, then walking across the street to Bryant Denny.
The Walk of Champions.
Waking up super early in the morning and going to open bar at a frat house, then concentrating so hard on walking to the stadium later.
Camping on the quad the night before a game.
Diehard fans who start staking out spots for their tents on Wednesday for a Saturday game.
The Homecoming parade.
Holding up four fingers at the end of the 3rd quarter with tens of thousands of other fans.
Setting records for ridiculous attendance at the A-Day game.
Watching the other team's fans empty out in the 3rd quarter when they realize hope is lost.
Tailgating at away games from 7am to 7pm.
Losing your voice for days after a big game.
College Gameday.
Seeing the score at the end of last year's Iron Bowl: 36-0, a score that will forever be etched into my memory.
Hearing Bear Bryant's voice before kickoff; the compulsory chill running down your spine.
Singing the fight song after a touchdown as the MDB plays.
Singing along with Sweet Home Alabama and Dixieland Delight.
Singing Rammer Jammer after a win.

This is Alabama football, and I love it, and I miss it so much.
Tomorrow night is the SEC Championship, and it will be on a real TV here in Egypt. My heart aches wishing I was there to watch the Tide roll in.
This is our year-- ROLL TIDE!

Yea Alabama

Yea, Alabama! Drown 'em Tide!
Every 'Bama man's behind you,
Hit your stride.
Go teach the Bulldogs to behave,
Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave.
And if a man starts to weaken,
That's a shame!
For Bama's pluck and grit have
Writ her name in Crimson flame.
Fight on, fight on, fight on men!
Remember the Rose Bowl, we'll win then.
So roll on to victory,
Hit your stride,
You're Dixie's football pride,
Crimson Tide, Roll Tide, Roll Tide!!

12 National Championships

1925 1926 1930 1934 1941 1961


1964 1965 1973 1978 1979 1992

Plus 21 Southeastern Conference titles, 52 Bowl Appearances, 17 enshrinees into the College Football Hall of Fame, 95 All-Americans, and the greatest football coach in history.



I miss Alabamy once again, and I think it's a sin...